Last night after Gene and the kids were in bed I decided to sit down and flip through the new conference issue of the Ensign. (One of our church magazines (comes out monthly) that contains talks from the leaders of our church) It's so funny how things work out. Since our YW's lesson on Sunday I have been a little discouraged on how I have been performing as my role as a mother. I feel like I have been "flying off the handle" over every little thing! Seriously, I have just been losing it. So on Sunday we talked about using kind words with everyone you come in contact with, but especially our family members. Brenda (the YW president) read off a few phrases that we tend to use often and I just cringed! I thought of how many times I used those phrases with my own kids...
SOOOO I have been praying to have patients with my kids, to discipline them with love and soft, kind words, and to be in tune with the spirit and handle situations as the Lord would have me handle them. After talking with a few of my close friends these last few weeks I have realized that I am not the only mother out there who feels inadequate to the role we play. Some times we see other mothers who seem to have it all together...they have the kids who sit quietly in their seats during sacrament (mine is the one screaming "don't pinch me mommy!!" as I drag him out), answer all of the questions in primary (I struggle just getting mine to primary without a complete break down), and give of themselves to others not only in the ward, but in all of the programs that their children might be involved in!!! Sometimes it is so frustrating to not have it all together!!!
But then last night I came across the article by Elder M. Russell Ballard Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. It was just what I needed!!! Not only was there a man out there who seemed to actually get what a wife/mother goes through on a daily basis, but he made me realize that..."There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children."
I can't tell you how many people have given me a "dirty look", mocked what my child has done, or made rude comments to me about my child. Yeah, maybe they thought it was funny, but to those of you who don't have a child that may be a little more demanding, or strong willed, you have no idea what we mothers go through. Not only physically, but emotionally!!!
I think that the two biggest lessons I learned from this talk is not only are all mothers and children different, but that as mothers we need to not get caught up with the list of things we have to get done around the house each day...we need to spend a lot more time playing with our children, and remembering all of the little fun details of those experiences. That can be so hard at times because I have a real hard time relaxing and just sitting down with my kids when there are messes all around me...but who cares?!?! They are kids!!! Anyone who may show up at my house knows that I have kids and I hope that they would be a little more "impressed" with my relationship that I am trying to develop with my kids then the way I clean up after them.
In closing his talk he reminded us of the most vital role of a parent..."pray, study, and teach the gospel. Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all. There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, “We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.”
So, in closing of my LONG post today...I challenge all of us mothers to take the time to do the things that are most important. Spend time playing and getting to know our children. Develop a relationship with them now that will grow so much over the next few years...so that when we reach those teen years we will know them and they will know us. We will be able to talk to them and they will feel comfortable sharing what trials they might be going through in life! I love my kids and I love my husband and I thank the Lord for blessing me with the knowledge of the one and only true church on this earth! I am thankful for all of our church leaders and for the inspiration they receive daily...it has truly changed me today!
SOOOO I have been praying to have patients with my kids, to discipline them with love and soft, kind words, and to be in tune with the spirit and handle situations as the Lord would have me handle them. After talking with a few of my close friends these last few weeks I have realized that I am not the only mother out there who feels inadequate to the role we play. Some times we see other mothers who seem to have it all together...they have the kids who sit quietly in their seats during sacrament (mine is the one screaming "don't pinch me mommy!!" as I drag him out), answer all of the questions in primary (I struggle just getting mine to primary without a complete break down), and give of themselves to others not only in the ward, but in all of the programs that their children might be involved in!!! Sometimes it is so frustrating to not have it all together!!!
But then last night I came across the article by Elder M. Russell Ballard Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles. It was just what I needed!!! Not only was there a man out there who seemed to actually get what a wife/mother goes through on a daily basis, but he made me realize that..."There is no one perfect way to be a good mother. Each situation is unique. Each mother has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and certainly different children."
I can't tell you how many people have given me a "dirty look", mocked what my child has done, or made rude comments to me about my child. Yeah, maybe they thought it was funny, but to those of you who don't have a child that may be a little more demanding, or strong willed, you have no idea what we mothers go through. Not only physically, but emotionally!!!
I think that the two biggest lessons I learned from this talk is not only are all mothers and children different, but that as mothers we need to not get caught up with the list of things we have to get done around the house each day...we need to spend a lot more time playing with our children, and remembering all of the little fun details of those experiences. That can be so hard at times because I have a real hard time relaxing and just sitting down with my kids when there are messes all around me...but who cares?!?! They are kids!!! Anyone who may show up at my house knows that I have kids and I hope that they would be a little more "impressed" with my relationship that I am trying to develop with my kids then the way I clean up after them.
In closing his talk he reminded us of the most vital role of a parent..."pray, study, and teach the gospel. Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all. There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, “We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.”
So, in closing of my LONG post today...I challenge all of us mothers to take the time to do the things that are most important. Spend time playing and getting to know our children. Develop a relationship with them now that will grow so much over the next few years...so that when we reach those teen years we will know them and they will know us. We will be able to talk to them and they will feel comfortable sharing what trials they might be going through in life! I love my kids and I love my husband and I thank the Lord for blessing me with the knowledge of the one and only true church on this earth! I am thankful for all of our church leaders and for the inspiration they receive daily...it has truly changed me today!
Below is a link to the talk given by Elder M. Russell Ballard:
4 comments:
kira, you ARE a good mom! that was a really good talk from conference, i really enjoyed it. we are not all perfect, but we're all trying!
Kira, you are an awesome mom and I am always grateful for the advice that you give. Caleb and Emilee are wonderful kids. Caleb is always so patient with Sebastian and I love watching the two of them play together. I am grateful for the oppertunity we have had to get to know each other better this year. Thanks for this post it is always good to know that other moms feel this way too!
I remember listening to that talk and thinking, I really need to program this entire talk into my brain so that I can always remember what it's really all about! How grateful I am for the gospel and our priesthood leaders who give such sound counsel!! I'm so glad we're friends!!
Thanks for the post! I also loved this talk and need to go back and read it again & again! Hope you had a Happy Mother's Day! :) Your kids are adorable and lucky to have you as their mother! :)
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